Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense
lived a long life but died from heart failure on the brink of the millennium. No one really knows
how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in Bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly
devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get
jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain,
the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in
charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution,
Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole
language and new math. But his health declined when he became infected with the
'If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it,' virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing
egulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six
year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for
taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a
student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal
judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally a woman who was stupid enough not to realize that coffee is hot and was awarded a huge
payout caused Common Sense to finally throw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of
developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, bicycle helmets
and mandatory air bags.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his
daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights
and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slow but think quick.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?".
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mother.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Marry a someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
22. Spend some time alone.
23. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
24. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
25. Read more books and watch less TV.
26. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
27. Trust in God but lock your car.
28. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
29. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
30. Read between the lines.
31. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
32. Be gentle with the earth.
33. Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
34. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
35. Mind your own business.
36. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
37. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
38. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
39. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
40. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
41. Remember that your character is your destiny.
42. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
